Men and Women Communicate

I have always heard that men and women are from different planets and have their own cultures, while in reality we have all grown up on the same planet and interact with each other in different ways on a daily basis. Men and women are different in many ways; they see the world through completely different perspectives. The key to understanding the differences is in the way men and women communicate. Men and women differ psychologically in the way they act, from the style in which they communicate to the way in which they attempt to influence others.

These gender differences in communication and influence tactics also have implications for gender differences in communication styles; communication differences in the workplace; differences in non-verbal and verbal communication; and miscommunication between men and women. Differences in communication style between men and women are visible physically, mentally and behaviorally. These two genders are different at the way how they act, sense, think and speak. Furthermore, one of the major dissimilarity between the sexes is the way they communicate.

Therefore, the major common of dissimilarity in communication affects both sexes in every perspective. In the book, You Just Don’t Understand, Deborah Tanen asserts that “even if they grow up in the same neighborhood, on the same block, or in the same house, girls and boys grow up in different worlds or words. ” These gender differences in ways of talking have been observed in children as young as three years of age, about the time language is developed. While little girls talk to be liked; little boys often talk to boast.

Little girls make requests; little boys make demands. Little girls speak to create harmony; little boys prolong conflict. Little girls talk more indirectly; little boys talk directly. Little girls talk more with words; little boys use more actions. While boys and girls both want to get their way, they use language differently to do so. Differences in communication style between men and women are visible physically, mentally and behaviorally. These two genders are different at the way how they act, sense, think and speak.

Furthermore, one of the major dissimilarity between the sexes is the way they communicate. Therefore, the major common of dissimilarity in communication affects both sexes in every perspective. Men always seem to have conflict when they asked for help but this circumstance could not really be understood by most of the women. They often think that the women are working hard in order to influence and conquer them. Therefore, men always think that doing what they are asked to do by women represents that they have lost position in that relationship.

Men communication style is more to explore in order to create, control and preserve status, while women’s communications is more open or rule by agreement. Women will actually request for participation of the other women which present during the communications and they will construct a conclusion based on the desire of all. People may get the feeling that the way of women communicating style is much better than the way men communicates. From the time when the emergence of women movement, a lot of people stated that sometimes men do not know how to converse correctly.

Women must always learn that all the intimate chatter which they are having with their girlfriends should always remain just that. Working hard to change the man into a girlfriend will not succeed because men do not have the thoughts of intimacy in that way. Men, too can realize that when woman is talking, she is trying to attach to him. When women are talking, it does not mean that she is attempting to adjust the condition of their relationship. Men and women will never be the same when it comes to both emotional and physical aspects.

So, why is it that people are surprised when men and women have trouble communicating? God gave Eve to Adam for companionship; their differences are what make them a complete pair. Most everyone in today’s society is familiar with the book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. The author, John Gray, has written many books about the differences men and women face during everyday life. The book, Mars and Venus in the Workplace, is the ninth book in his Mars/Venus theme that he began writing in 1993. In this book, Grey informs his audience that men and women communicate with different styles.

Grey also acknowledges that there is prejudice against women in the workplace; they have to work twice as hard because it is not a level playing field. Men have dominated the workforce for most of civilization up until their patriotic duties called away to war. All of a sudden, the women were responsible for providing for their family while the men were away. Women went to work all over America to earn an income to insure their family’s survival. Women took all sorts of jobs including assembly line positions, office jobs, and even playing professional baseball.

When the men returned home from war, the women were expected to resume their place as housewives. The women who had gotten a taste of the professional life decided that they wanted to continue working. Thus, the introduction to women in a man’s working environment began. Women were not taken seriously at first, because they were stepping into a “man’s world” or what they like to call it. Since men and women work closely in the workplace today, there are many complaints addressing the differences in the genders. Men and women often differ in the way they manage people and give orders.

Several well-respected studies have shown women tend to soften their demands and statements, whereas men tend to be more direct. Women, for example, use tag lines, phrases like, “don’t you think” following the presentation of an idea, “if you don’t mind” following a demand or “this may be a crazy idea, but” following a suggestion. Another difference often seen between men and women is women generally ask more questions than men. We have all heard or experienced the anecdote about the man who refuses to stop to ask directions when lost.

We get a good chuckle out of this story, but differences in how and when questions are asked can create real confusion in the workplace. Asking questions means different things to men and women. Men ask questions for one purpose only: to gather information. For women, asking questions serves two purposes: One is to gather information but, as you’ve probably noticed, women will also ask questions when they already know the answers. Why? They want to show interest in what the other person has said to cultivate the relationship.

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